« Remember remember the tenth of December… | Main | Hello! »
I Met Patrick Sharp…
By Kat | August 22, 2009
(Author’s notes: This is the blog post that people tend to remember when I’m around, so it’s only fair that I bring it over here to NTIC instead of letting it gather dust on my own failed blog. This is a little bittersweet for me because Puck Bunny and myself had a huge friendship-destroying falling-out about a month ago — but, eh, fuck it. This experience will never not be funny.)
I Met Patrick Sharp, Or, How Kat Was Dumbfounded By The Size of His Head.
In early February, during that one-day heatwave (60 degrees in February = SO WARM), my work friend Lisa and I went out for a tea break at Argo Tea. As we were waiting for our tea to be brewed, I get a phone call from my [now former] friend (who shall be known as “Puck Bunny” or “P.B.” for the rest of this post). Since she’s at work, too, I figure it’s an emergency of some sort, so I answer. “Hello?”
“I just want to let you know — go to the Blackhawks website, look at the first story. We’re going.”
“…”
“Hello?”
“…The fuck?”
After I get back to the desk, I look… and groan. Patrick Sharp was signing the “One Goal” book at the Blackhawks Store on February 28th. Now, I have nothing against Mr. Sharp. He seems like a good guy. But Puck Bunny has been lusting after this man ever since she started getting interested in hockey, and the potential for her squealing incoherently was high.
Puck Bunny was also my best friend, though, and the signing was on her birthday weekend. I figure I could tough it out for a few hours.
Cheaper than buying a birthday present, anyway.
Fast forward to February 28th. I wake up at 8:30, having slept through both of my alarms, so I’m already running late. But I manage to go pick up P.B. at the train station by around 9:40. I had only gotten about three hours sleep (I was cleaning for most of the night, because my apartment was a hot-ass mess), my hair looked busted, and I forgot my Blackhawks hat — but dammit, I showed up, so whatever. We go over to the Tribune Tower to stash her overnight bag (we were going to the game against the Kings on Sunday, as well, so she was staying at my place for the night), and after grabbing an early lunch, we get in line around noon-ish.
Noon. The signing began at 2:30. Did I mention that it was around 25 degrees with 10-15 MPH winds?
Hated. My. Life.
After I was done counting the number of fingers that had lost feeling (final count: ALL OF THEM, and my arms were starting to go the same way) and wondering why time was moving so damn slow (final analysis: God was conspiring against me Old Testament-style for something I had done in my life, and I had to go make amends by sacrificing my finest goat), the line finally started moving at exactly 2:30. I was glad there wasn’t some sort of “Canadian People Time” that made him late.
As we moved inside, I could tell P.B. was getting more excited, though there was a distinct lack of squee.
Me? I was more excited that I was regaining feeling in my extremities. I was never more happy to be living in a time where central heating existed in my LIFE.
I couldn’t see him at first, because there were people standing in my way at exactly the right angle in my view of the table at the back of the store. During this time, P.B. had peeked around people to get a good look at Patrick, and let out a squeak, covering her mouth. I raised an eyebrow at her, but she refused to elaborate. Okay!
As we moved toward the back, the store people started shuffling us into a single-file line, so I turned around to keep talking to P.B. Soon, I was one person away from meeting Patrick Sharp.
P.B. puts a hand on my shoulder and says sincerely, “Kathy, you’re my best friend.”
Now, when she says that, it usually comes with an understood, “PLEASE don’t say anything stupid.” But why would I say something stupid, right? I don’t even know the guy.
I replied, “…Yeeeeah. No shit — I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” It was then that I turned around, and there was Patrick Sharp…
…And his BIG-ASS HEAD.
Now, people, I had never met a professional athlete in my life before then. Maybe big-ass heads are normal for these guys.
But I was entirely unprepared for the sight of this motherfucking big-ass head in front of me.
I managed to get out “Hello, Mr. Sharp” before I had to look down at my book, because I was about two seconds away from saying something stupid about his big-ass head. It wasn’t like I was purposely meaning to say something — the comment was just THERE, dancing on my tongue, threatening to spill out. So, instead, I looked down, shoved the book over to him, and squeaked out, “Pleasesignthis!” I clamped my mouth shut in a grin, and he signed the book. I mumbled, “Thank you,” and went over to the side to watch P.B. meet him.
P.B. managed to talk to him a little bit without jumping over the table or attempting to kidnap him, for which I am eternally grateful. He even signed her birthday card (yes, she bought a birthday card for him to sign — HA). We took a few pictures with her camera because hers is nicer (though she was so flustered that she kept turning off the camera instead of taking pictures), and we ran out of there.
As we walked back to the Tower (which is only over the Michigan Ave. bridge from the Blackhawks store), P.B. kept babbling about how hot he was and getting out all the squee she was holding in before. Meanwhile, I just kept quiet as we went into the Tower and sat back down at my desk.
Finally, I spoke.
“Was it just me? Or did he have a big-ass head?”
P.B.’s response?
“…I knooooow!”
So, despite the fact that he has a big-ass head, he is cute in person, though he could stand some sun. He seemed awkward, but in an endearing way (like he couldn’t understand why these people were standing in line for his autograph). Nice dude.
I just hope he’s standing the next time I meet him. Maybe it’ll put that big-ass head in perspective.
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
July 1st, 2010 at 9:03 am
Buy:Viagra Super Force.Viagra Professional.Cialis Soft Tabs.Tramadol.Maxaman.Zithromax.VPXL.Propecia.Viagra Soft Tabs.Viagra.Viagra Super Active+.Cialis Super Active+.Soma.Cialis.Cialis Professional.Super Active ED Pack.Levitra….